How do you feel about C's?

I am a teacher. I was also a teacher's kid...both of my parents were teachers. The expectation in my household was that you brought home no less than a B. I never did. I said that when I had my own children I would have that same expectation.


Well I have a step-son and he brought home a C in Science. He had an A last grading period. I felt there is no reason for him to have a C with a teacher in the house. I have access to all the curriculum materials needed since he attends the same school system in which I teach.


I reward him with money for his grades. It is a bit hard to compete with the weekly Dave and Buster's trip his father takes him to. My money for grades does not seem to be much of an incentive since his father gives him whatever he wants in the way of money and special activities.


What are your feelings about C's and raising the standards for a child with regard to school?

How do you feel about C's?
A "C" is considered average, so I can't imagine being horribly upset with a child for being considered average. Now a "D" or an "F"..... it was never OK in my household either. If he's doing his best though.... just because you think that he should be grasping it doesn't mean that he is. Since you are a teacher and have access to his curriculum, perhaps you could help tutor him!





You need to talk to your step-son about the importance of grades. He needs to understand that the better his grades, the better college he'll be able to attend and the better career he'll be able to accomplish. You can't be lawyer with "C's" all through school, you know what I mean? Just have a mature conversation with him. (You never mentioned his age, but still.... a mature conversation never hurt anyone.)





I wouldn't worry about a punishment nor a reward. He's obviously to the point that rewards don't mean anything anymore. It may be a time to have a talk with your husband about the situation as well. No matter what you say or do, if you and his father aren't on the same page, then nothing will work.
Reply:It's not about the grade, it's about the effort %26amp; whether he's comprehending the lesson.





Even with a teacher in the house, it sounds like he doesn't understand the material he's being taught. Or, maybe he's not putting the effort into turning in the work %26amp; studying.





If he is trying to learn; If he's turning in his work; If he's using the resources available to him, but still doesn't understand the material well enough to impress the teacher %26amp; get a better grade, then there's not much more he can do, is there?





What you really want to concentrate on, though, is not 'getting his grades up', but 'making sure that he understands the material %26amp; has good study/homework habits'. If you're going to put an incentive on anything, it should be on his habits %26amp; his effort to understand the material (perhaps asking you to help him look at the subject in a way that he could better understand).
Reply:Is it a hard class? Is he working hard and just not getting it? Is he overwhelmed with extracurriculars or other things that might keep him from studying? Was he sick and missed some school? Is there some basic concept in the class that he just didn't get? Does he have a learning disability? In those cases, a C represents his best effort and I wouldn't penalize him, but I would help him.





Is he not doing homework because he's goofing off? Did he fail to hand in a critical paper? Did he get caught cheating and hence get a low grade on something? Is he passing notes to a girlfriend or daydreaming in the middle of class? Did he miss class for a non-legitimate reason? Has he just decided he doesn't care about science? If these are the reasons, the C represents a failure of best effort, and I'd work on motivating him to work harder.





I'm not a believer in cash for grades -- I think it encourages cheating and also discourages taking hard classes. It can also just be unfair: A C in an AP class with a hard teacher and a difficult load otherwise might be equivalent in terms of the child's effort to an A in an easy mainstream class with an easy load.





If you're not sure why your son had a hard time this time around, I'd have a conference with the teacher. If it's really a failure of effort, I'd drop some extra-curriculars or limit some playtime to make room for more studying, have a talk with him about what's going on, check that his homework is done every night, etc.
Reply:As a teacher you should know that your child is going through a rather rough transition from being "elementary" to "secondary" which freaks out the best of the kids.





Now as for C's. I find grades rarely indicative of the amount learned at school. The report card is meaningless. If my child brings home an F on a paper, we go through the paper to see where the problem is. On more than one occasion I have found that it is the lack of understanding by the teacher of the material presented rather than mistakes made by my child. Also if my child brings home an A, we go through the paper to make sure that the information was 'learned' and not 'memorized'.





So my feelings are that C's are instruments the teachers use to evaluate their credibility as teachers. By handing out a C they are telling the child that they only did an average job of teaching the child the material.... which is as it should be.
Reply:it depends on the amount of effort, if a child gives it there all and get C's that's great, the reward for good grades is knowledge it seems ridicules to reward money, what if they are doing there best, what are you telling them there best is not good enough
Reply:Sometimes or a lot of times is the environment where child is growing, I mean you are a good person but you are the stepmom, they see and feel that, this could be a reason for his grades.


What I would do, besides keeping a good friendly relationship with him, I would sit down and find out what he doesn't understand....make jokes with him , like...oh! man, you have a private teacher at home only for you...that's because you are special...you are the king!! jajajjja! you know? as a joke, then study together, or also if he is not really with this, then find a tutor, so he can get the help he needs.


You know us, you, everyone.....we get sooo frustrate and soo idiots when we don't understand something.


Help him, he needs help on this subject or more, give him the helps he needs from you or anybody!!!!!!! who cares when help comes from....???? .and congratulate him for his efforts and progress...don't pay him. Give him benefits instead......like have a friends reunion at home without anybody interfering, or play videos with pizza, you know?


Good luck!!!!!
Reply:well i think that if he went from an A to a C, there is a different issue. Maybe they changed topics and he dosnt understand the new material as much, maybe he is feeling to much pressure at home being a family of teachers and all...Maybe there is something else happening at school and its interfering with his work....Talk with him, ask him if he wants you to give him some extra help at home, ask him if you can help with a different issue may be having... let him know you are there to talk...


Even though you are a teacher, dosnt mean that all the kids in the house should be getting A's and B's, some kids just are not capable and get the c's or c+'s.... as long as they are trying and doing there best than you cant be angry or make them feel bad.... give lots of positve and you should know that being a teacher
Reply:Honestly, I got horrible grades in highschool and my parents weren't upset because they knew I was trying my hardest, that's what counts.
Reply:as long as he does his best, dont be upset.
Reply:do not freak out over a c. How old is the kid?. Encourage him to reach potential, stop payment and encourage the child to understand that good grades = a better quality of life down the road.
Reply:I was a good student in high school, but I hardly put in any effort. Instead, I just coasted through until graduation.


Personally, I would rather see my child work really hard for a C than just float through the class and get an A. While good grades are certainly beneficial, work ethic and effort are more valuable.


Fortunately, we're at least a few years away from formal report cards and grades!
Reply:I guess you and your husband can only love a smart child? I think you are more insulted that how his grades make you and your husband look like morons. Get over it. He has to be responsible for his own actions. Your post sounds unloving. Try reading it...you say yourself that your husband is giving him PERSONAL attention, not money, and that your son reacts to that better than cash.





So chill on his grades, and spend some time with the boy.