For those of you who have had numerous partners/relationships, is it b/c you have "lower standards" or

you happen to encounter wonderful people where you live? Please don't be offended when I mean "lower standards", I just mean that you are not very particular when looking for someone. I have never found someone "good enough" in my 22 years.

For those of you who have had numerous partners/relationships, is it b/c you have "lower standards" or
I grew up in the 1960's and 1970's, there was not a lot of incurable std's, birth control actually worked very reliably for the first time in history, and frankly, some of us used a lot of alcohol and it tends to cloud your judgement. Since then, I've had a limited number of partners since I was in a relationship (the partners occured after the break-up) and I don't drink. After 15 years in a relationship, I went a bit sex crazy, but quickly calmed down. I'm not religious, and obviously have different standards than you do. To each their own.
Reply:you have GOT to have an open mind. i think thats what you meant by "lower standards."





what you are doing is a form of self protection. you are using your "too good for you" status to protect you from ever being exposed to love and ever getting hurt. you fooled a lot of people, but you didn't fool me.
Reply:you know thats kinda offensive....





who a person sleeps with really in the long run...isnt your business.





I found my someone special when I was 16...took me 8 years but he is my husband now...so Phhhhhhhh :-D~
Reply:Some people meet the right person and fall in love sooner, maybe in their teens, for others it takes longer. I didn't meet a man who was right for me until well into my twenties. Just the way it works out sometimes.





I guess some people can separate love and sex completely... I can't, which is why I've had very few partners. But if you can, then it's probably more about the sex than the person. Sex on it's own means nothing to me.





I don't think standards are high or low, just different. Our expectations of first-time sex are different. If you think waiting will help to fulfil yours, then stick with it.
Reply:Mine were learning experiences. I am married now. Would my previous relationships have met my current standards? Hell no. Does that mean I set my standards too low to begin with? Perhaps a little bit, but I was also younger, therefore less mature myself. My first relationship was when I was about 13. It was puppy love, a high school thing. Was it perfect? No, but I did learn a lot of things about myself and what I need in a relationship. I would rather start with my standards a little bit too low than too high. If you have an idea of what the perfect guy is like, you probably won't find him because you might see 98% perfect guy and not realize that that is pretty darn good. Having more than one relationship helps you realize what is actually important and was is just a bit of a preference.
Reply:Well, when I was young I don't think I had very high standards, I would sleep with anyone who I found reasonably attractive, if they asked me. It never occured to me not to.





And when you talk about not having found anyone good enough in your 22 years, if you are only 22 then i trust that you have not actually been looking for somone to sleep with for all of that time.
Reply:i think some do have lower standards..





and i think some ppl have good intentions...but they just keep ending up with complete idiots...





i feel sorry for the second group..and i hope they end up finding someone worthy of them.
Reply:When I was 22 I had found only one and, yes, he was wonderful. We met when i was 13 and he 14- he died a few months before I turned 22. So our nearly 8 years together gave us something that I remember fondly.





A few years later before I married I had found a couple of more gentlemen who met my standards. I am very particular but also human. Humans are supposed to form relationships and I find nothing seedy about sex. I am not "too good" to reach out for human companionship.
Reply:I promise not to take offense to yours if you don't to mine.





You don't have a standard until you've had at least one relationship. It's just the definition of the word is a basis for comparison. If you don't have one then you don't have a standard.





Standard: a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated; "the schools comply with federal standards"; "they set the ...
Reply:I found people but very few and it is not a conscious decision I just cannot force myself to feel attraction were none exists.
Reply:I think you should have used something other than 'lower standards'.





Anyways, honestly, there were about 10 guys who I had some kind of non-serious relationship with. I found the guy that I knew was worth sticking with when I was 20.





At 20, I found the type of guy that I figured out that I was looking for. He was not perfect obviously, but we were compatible and he is great and wonderful.





Sometimes it's also about trial and error.. dating new guys.. seeing what kind of person you want to be with. You get closer and closer to the guy that's right for you every time, because you have more specific 'requirements' if you will.. i.e. I met a guy who was my religion, nice, gentlemanly.. but he wasn't FUNNY, which I realized that I needed.





You need to realize that your language is offensive.. next time say it in a different wayor don't say it.
Reply:I'm the same way, picky.





And you live in Manhattan so no wonder it's hard to find someone
Reply:No, it's not offensive. I was lonely. I wish I had waited. Once you're married, you realize that you don't need to "practice" before marriage to get better at relationship stuff. Only marriage can teach you how to be married. Each person is unique, and learning how to be guy "A"'s partner does not mean you're going to be any better at being guy "B"'s partner.





My high school boyfriend was a very nice boy, but we realized that we wanted different things out of life. It never really occurred to me to wait for a guy who wanted to get married and had the same goals and values as I did. I was dealing with my parent's divorce and, as the only child still in the house, I was alone all the time. My actions were fairly G-rated compared to my friends. Still, I wish I had waited.
Reply:Maybe you're too choosy. I don't mean that offensively, but if you expect perfection, you're never going to find anyone who's "good enough". I think most people decide what traits are important to them, and overlook flaws that aren't crucial, such as being a little overweight or too short or not funny or cool enough.





I know people, guys mostly, who whine endlessly about being single, but then turn down any girl who isn't a supermodel. These guys are by far not perfect-looking, or rich, or anything but ordinary. But they still expect perfection in their lovers. This is what I strive not to be. I consider myself to have very high standards, but I try to be picky about things that matter. Like how well we get along, how good the conversation is, how intelligent and interesting they are. Beyond that, flaws are something I expect, and can work with.
Reply:am just luved up, don't know who you hang around but i would never lower my standards
Reply:Nope, not lower standards, I just like sex... it feels good, it is fun, and I (and I'm sure this will get me in trouble) don't think it's the end-all-be-all to give away your v-card.
Reply:Reading between the lines I'm wondering if there is a percent of you that's jealous of such people. Is that true?